LA: Welcome back, Pistachio Brothers, the rare duo skilled in psychedelic fashion
and synchronised conversation. How are you feeling?
PB: Great! Busier than a couple of bouncing balls, but that’s the way we like it.
LA: We decided to tackle the epilatory insanity, this obsession with being hairless
monkeys. And we wanted to know what you both thought, particularly concerning the
male population.
PB: Time to move into the 21st century. My god, are we evolving or what? Do you really
want to walk around looking like Hairzilla? We’d rather be skinless than have ghastly
body hair.
LA: So much for sexual dimorphism, then.
PB: We aren’t familiar with your esoteric term.
LA: Sexual dimorphism, the physical differences between males and females of the
same species.
PB: You can go with the cave people, and we’ll go with the metrosexuals. Besides,
fashion is not about gender. Let the penises and vaginas make those distinctions.
LA: But, really, Pistachio Bros, let’s be serious here. Isn’t the picture of epilatory
insanity just a social construct? How do you reconcile that hairy people are currently
fashionably anathema, yet during the more naturalistic fashion state of the sixties
and seventies they would be crazy cool?
PB: We never knew you spoke so much. Listen to us. All this intellectualising only
makes you less cool. The facts are that hair is coarse, it falls off, gets in your
mouth, it’s not hygienic, and you look like a bear on its hind legs.
LA: While you seem mostly right, it certainly seems unfair.
PB: If you’re MMA fighter Dave “Peewee” Herman or singer Tom Waits, you can get away
with the hairy cool. Maybe if you go on Craigslist you can find a few fetish cravers.
But for you, no.
LA: Me? No, I don’t have that problem. I was simply answering to a LA Planet readership
concern.
PB: We will shave you right now, bush bum and all, and you will see the difference.
LA: Hey, let go of me.
PB: My god, you’re such an unsightly creature. You couldn’t even get away with anal
bleaching. Now stop struggling. We’re the Pistachio Brothers, and we’re going to
make you fabulous!
The Pistachio Brothers, psychedelic fashion icons, and co-designers of LA Apparel™,
are always around to tell it as it is. For their previous interview, click here.
